At the beginning of September we made the trip down to Lilongwe for Banda’s visa interview! We had tried to get everything done during the August holiday but there ended up being so much to get done that it just wasn’t possible to fit it all in. We (though I only did 2) made 4 trips especially for it – 1 to Blantyre for the marriage certificate, 1 to Banda’s home village and then back to Blantyre for the birth certificate, 1 to Lilongwe for the doctor’s appointment and police clearance, and finally 1 to Lilongwe for the interview itself. There technically should have been 2 more but the Embassy people took pity on us and let us turn in the paperwork on the same day as the interview (it’s usually at least a week in between) and then they managed to print the visa in 2 days rather than a week. Oi oi oi. Turns out that between the visa fees ($825 alone!!) and all of the traveling and lodging costs, it’s cost us more within Malawi than the actual plane ticket will cost! But anyways, it’s worth it.

So we decided to take the night bus to Lilongwe because I hate traveling and figured it might make it easier if I could sleep through part of it. Plus then that’s one less night that we’d have to pay for a hotel. We got to Karonga town around 8:00 pm, the bus came at 8:30 and we were on our way by 9:00. Had some fun peeing behind the coke machine in the bus depot because the 24-hour public pay toilets were closed. Bonded with some fellow travelers by sharing toilet paper. Love it. Banda and I came prepared – I made tuna to eat as dinner on the bus and also made some boiled potatoes/tomatoes to eat at will. I drifted off about an hour in, slept through the hills, woke up around 1 am and simply could not go back to sleep. We got to Mzuzu around 3 am and sat in the depot for an hour or so. Finally fell back to sleep after we started the journey to Lilongwe. All in all I think I probably slept 6 hours. Not bad but it did wreck my body as I ended up dreadfully sick and still am, weeks later. Banda was a keeper – he let me drape my legs across his knees in an effort to stem my back pain. Considering that is was still shooting with pain the entire week, I can’t imagine what it would have been like if I’d had to stay upright in that seat for 12 hours!

Made it to Lilongwe on Monday morning. Wandered around for a while trying to find a hotel that was cheaper and closer to town than Mabuya (where the volunteers always stayed). Finally found a place that was alright, excepting the crazy owner who sat around all day in his bathrobe getting drunk. Ended up wandering around LLW all day trying to get the final things in order – picking up pictures to prove our relationship, making copies, etc.

Exciting times as we discovered a little alcove of used book stands within the bus depot market! I was so happy to see this. 1. Because I didn’t have to pay the exorbitant prices of the chain stores and 2. Just on principle it makes me happy that some people are making their livings spreading literature. And they had such a good understanding of their stock. So fabulous. Got a bunch of good technical books for the MIRACLE library with the leftover donation money. Highlight of the trip for sure. Also went to the stupid chain store to supplement the books and ended up spending at least 3 times as much. But there’s nothing else to do and the teachers are very excited about the purchases.

Tuesday morning was the interview. I was a nervous wreck but Banda was his typical calm self. The interview went very smoothly though. The guy was very nice and he barely asked any questions. So happy to hear that he was accepted!!

We had to hang around Lilongwe for a couple more days though while they printed the visa. I actually got sick on Monday so I spent most of the time curled up in bed, only going out for meals. Fine with me – not a fan of Lilongwe anyway. Went on Thursday afternoon to pick up the visa. Decided to wait until Friday morning to leave so we could just get an early start. Well we didn’t get an early jump because when I woke up that morning and was packing, I realized that Banda had left his x-rays at the bookshop. He needs these to pass through immigration customs in the U.S. Ai ai ai. So he headed back to the bookshop and waited for an hour for them to open. So we missed the early bus because we got to the depot around 8 am. Had to wait 2 hours for the bus to fill. Not good for someone who’s trying to time her last bathroom trip perfectly so that I can make it. Ran to the toilet 3 times…. And the last time heard someone outside asking where the mzungu was. Nearly punched multiple people in the face as they yelled at me to hurry up and that ‘time is money.’ Listen up morons, we’ve been sitting here for 2 f-ing hours, you can wait 30 seconds. Should have known from the 2 hour wait that it was going to be a nightmarish day. The bus ride took forever because with the fuel shortage, few buses were running so we stopped to pick up everyone who was waiting by the road. People were packed into the aisle, leaning over seats and random babies sitting on our laps. Not enjoyable. Finally got to Mzuzu around 5 pm to find no fuel so therefore no minibuses to Karonga. We decided to just get a hotel room but Banda wanted to wait awhile to see if a bus would show up. Good thing we listened to him because a bus came and was instantly mobbed by 30 people who were also hanging around trying to get to Karonga. Banda bravely fought his way and saved me the front seat – the only one my back can even partially manage for 4 straight hours. Had a moment of terror when the bus started to pull away with Banda in it, but they backed up and came to get me. Got into Karonga late but our favorite taxi driver was kind enough to meet us and take us home.

So, long story short, we have his visa! We haven’t bought tickets just yet (waiting for the miles card to come in) but the plan is to leave Malawi on October 12th!

This is my last week of work so I’m trying to get everything done. I think there will just have to be a couple of shelves of unlabeled books, but that’s just the way it goes. It’s still a vast improvement on the way it was and all of the technical books are sorted and in order and those are the ones that will primarily be used anyway. I’ll spend the last couple of days hanging explanatory posters, doing last minute touch-ups, and making certain that Envie knows what she has to do to maintain this whole project. While I used to worry about that, over the last month my confidence in her understanding has grown, so that’s reassuring.

We’ve been selling virtually everything in our house that’s not nailed down, trying to get rid of stuff and get a little nest egg for the trip home! Fortunately we’re going at the end of a month, so people have money to spend, and we’re making some good progress. I never knew Banda was such a salesman! Still trying to sell the house I built which is nerve-wracking since we’re getting close to leaving, but we have 2 very serious buyers so all is left on that is to negotiate a price. And since I long ago reconciled myself to the fact that it was inevitably going to be a financial loss, I think the negotiation part won’t hurt too badly.

Had a nice trip to Livingstonia one weekend. Livingstonia is that town at the top of the huge hill that the former volunteers and I hiked up to last year. Well this year there was no hiking, thank god. Ms. Kim wanted to take me there as a thank you for all of my work with the libraries and also with her English – so sweet! So it was her, me, Banda, Peter Daino, and her secretary and his wife. It was a good mix of people as Peter was full of wisdom and the secretary just chattered away. And Ms. Kim is such a mother – she came full prepared with sandwiches, drinks, snacks, dessert, and wipies. Love her. While the first trip centered more on nature and reflection, this trip was filled with history so that was neat. We went to the museum where the missionary lived, saw the church and the university, and learned a bunch of neat things about Malawi. On the ride home, we got stuck behind a bus that had broken down. Stuck because the road is only wide enough for one car at a time, with only a little bit of space for negotiating on the corners. So we hung out in the car for a couple of hours as they attempted to weld the broken piece back together. They failed but fortunately the secretary came up with the idea to put ground up soap in the pipe to block the leakage. And it worked! Who knew. Anyways, we finally made it down the mountain and home to Karonga. It was a great last trip to appreciate some of Malawi’s plentiful natural beauty.

I also went with Mwambira to meet the village headmen of the area where we’re building a community library. And I thought getting the books to Malawi would be the most frustrating part! Ha. It was basically a disaster with everything that drives me crazy about Malawi “all rolled up into one like a cigar” (as Banda would say). While the guys were initially grateful, the spokesperson finished his speech by saying that it’s soooo difficult to find resources here so they would need us to donate the cement and iron sheets and they would only do the sand and bricks. Umm no. 1. The original agreement was ALWAYS that we would do the books and they would do the building. 2. I’ve already spent over 1,000,000 kwacha getting the books there and Mwambira nearly matched that amount with his own transportation costs from Blantyre to Karonga. 3. The library will serve multiple villages. Go door to door and ask people to contribute 100 kwacha. Totally manageable and they’d raise the money easily.

So I was livid, although I don’t even know why I was surprised. I’ve learned over and over again here that it’s just never enough. It doesn’t matter what you do, people will always see your skin and expect you to do more. It’s nauseating. And it’s frustrating that this country will NEVER be able to stand on its own two feet if there is this constant mentality of dependency. Which there is – from all systems – starting at the government level and working all the way down to the family unit. There’s this expectation that someone else who is better off is going to come in and help you. I used to think the family interdependence was a good, beautiful thing. Note that I said “interdependence.” But I’ve come to realize that no, it’s just plain dependence. It is family members lying and making up stories in order to essentially steal money from those who are actually hard-working and managing to save. It’s not a safety net. It’s a crutch. A debilitating crutch. And it goes on up to the village level and even the whole country. If the donor aid hadn’t been pulled, I doubt people ever would have freaked out to the magnitude of nationwide protests. Sure, people would have grumbled that Bingu was repressing certain freedoms, but man let me tell you the real shit hit the fan when money started getting dropped. Sigh. But anyways, I’m off on a tangent, let me pull it back. So that’s what happened within this village. Absolutely no incentive to help themselves and contribute anything substantial to the project. Just a complete expectation that I would do it all for them. And I know that donors like myself are a huge part of the problem in creating this mentality. Because if we weren’t still coming in and doing projects, maybe within a couple of generations they would outgrow the mentality. And yet I really did (perhaps naively) believe that this project would be an exception. The Malawian community initiated it. They came up with the proposal. They donated the land. They were going to handle all of the building and management. I was just supposed to be the book contact. I wasn’t throwing money around to random people but giving a one-time donation of an actual commodity. Books. Education. Something concrete and a single opportunity rather than constant handouts. I thought it would be okay. I should have known better I suppose. It continued to get even worse as they somehow decided that I would not only be responsible for the library but for the whole secondary school in general!! WHAT?! So they decided amongst themselves that I would spend my life in the U.S. raising money for them because I was “responsible” for them now. They actually used that word. Excuse me but no. I wanted to help build a library, not a school. Not to mention that people don’t just throw money at you in the States. Half the time I feel like they still all believe that the streets of America are paved in gold and that money grows on trees, despite my own attempts to teach them that that is far from the case and that any fundraising requires hours and hours of invested time. Side note: I’ve lost count of how many people have asked me to find scholarships or jobs for them when we go back to the U.S. Sorry but I can’t even find myself a job and Banda will also need some way to pay for his own schooling. Half the time I feel like I’m talking to the wind when I try to explain that I don’t have those kind of connections and that it just doesn’t all get handed out to whoever asks.

The irritation continued as they took me on a tour so that I could take pictures to show donors. Whatever. And there I learned that they only have 2 classrooms for 4 grade levels so the kids just sit outside and wait for them to be free. And that in the rainy season, they just cancel classes. Awful, I know, pulls at the heartstrings, yes? Well don’t be fooled. There are 2 more classrooms already built but they just need to put new iron sheets on because they were destroyed in the earthquake. Which by the way was 2 YEARS AGO. Do something about it rather than waiting for someone to come help you. Also, I walked 50 more feet and was met with a beautiful teacher’s house. Huge. Decorated. Nicer and bigger than any of the Chaminade houses. And next door there was a bricklayer actively working on finishing a second house. With multiple piles of bricks laying nearby, indicating where the next 4 houses would be built. So let me get this straight. You say you don’t have enough money to 1. Fix the school roof so the students can actually have classes and 2. To build the library. And yet here you are building mansions for teachers’ houses. Hmm PRIORITIES ANYONE?!?!? Where were they getting the money to build the houses?? I asked them why this was happening and they gave some BS answer about teachers refusing to work unless they have housing. 1. They’re assigned by the government so someone should stay eventually or they could assign someone who already comes from the area and has housing OR 2. Build something smaller and more sustainable. The houses could be half that size and still be fine. Sigh, so it was just uber-frustrating to see that teachers were prioritizing their own comfort rather than the structural necessities of the institution. Again, not surprising as entitlement and dependence are something I see daily at Chaminade and MIRACLE, but still upsetting to see.

So we’ve put a 4 month limit on their project. If they have done nothing to raise funds themselves within 4 months, Mwambira will instead donate the books to someone who is willing to do their own legwork. As it should be. There’s no chance of sustainability if it’s all done from the outside. So I do hope these people get it together. If it had just been me on my own, I would have yanked those books away so fast and given them to someone serious. Like Lusibilo who I gave half the books too and I trust will do it right. But with Mwambira as the local contact, I know he’ll draw the line when the time comes. So frustrating to have spent hundreds of hours of my holiday time collecting and cataloging the books, even more days devoted to giving fundraising presentations, the thousands of dollars spent, and so much energy too – all with the aim of assisting people who it turns out can’t even be bothered to help themselves.

See you all in a few weeks!