Oh Nkhata Bay! You have lost your appeal for me. Not quite sure why. But I do think it has something to do with how freaking long it takes to get there. I think I’d rather just go somewhere closer that only takes 2 hours round trip rather than 12 hours. Plus I just ended up missing people the whole time… missing Karonga friends but even more so, missing the old volunteers because it just wasn’t the same without them!!
But anyways, the trip started out with the regular craziness of the bus depot. Usually the Karonga depot is pretty tame. Not this time though. Maybe it’s because we went in the afternoon (I had to teach in the morning) so all of the conductors were frantically trying to scoop customers away from each other. I ended up surrounded with people yelling at me to come with them. I handled it far better than I ever would have last year and actually enjoyed being a smartass back to their lies and gimmicks. Works much better than getting frustrated or flustered. So I was contentedly trying to figure things out in a mass of 10 conductors but apparently it got too rough for Laura’s liking as I was suddenly transformed into a ping pong ball as they (gently) bumped me around a bit. Cue the yelling of the Mama lol so funny to watch Laura chastising them like they were children. It didn’t work, of course, but it was great to see. Ended up picking someone I knew since all of the buses were almost empty anyway. But that didn’t stop the other conductors from sticking their heads into the doors and windows to yell at us that we’d picked the wrong bus. They really were out of control. My attempt to explain to them that “I like this guy and I cannot stand the rest of ya’ll” fell on deaf ears. Laura eventually coined the phrase “Suck it!” as the most appropriate way to respond to their obnoxiousness – relieves our frustrations without them understanding its offensive nature.
Finally made it out of the bus depot after more than an hour of waiting for the bus to fill. And that’s when the true adventure began. Had a very urgent peeing emergency. I’m usually very good about this – heck, I’ve made it 25 hours on a public bus with only 1 bathroom break. I’ve got this. But not on this trip. Nope, with one hour left to Mzuzu, I suddenly knew I was going to pee my pants if that bus did not pull over. So I waited until Ekwendeni and then used my limited Chitumbuka to tell the conductor that I was sick and needed to find a pit latrine immediately. I was actually pretty proud that I could put together what I thought was a clear request. Well he ignored me. We pulled back onto the road and kept going. WTF man. Pull over for 3 minutes! Earlier in the trip, you spent 10 minutes sitting at a bus stop while the driver went off in search of cookies. Seriously people, DON’T pretend that an urgent sense of timeliness is a trait that 99.9% of Malawians possess. So I used more Chitumbuka to ask one of the other passengers where we were going. “Mzuzu.” To which I frantically say “chimbuzi yayi?!” which means “no pit latrine?!” Yeah, no, they apparently made the executive decision that I could just hold it. So not happening. At this point I’m sitting there saying out loud “I don’t know how to say ‘emergency.’ I should know that word.” And Laura catches that and just starts yelling at the bus driver “This is an emergency! An emergency! Pull over NOW!” over and over again. And with her crazy hair and eyes…. They decided it was worth it I guess lol. So they pulled over at some field (would it have been soooo hard to stop at a neighboring house where I could borrow a pit latrine – stupid boys). I rip Laura’s chitenje off of her so I’d have something to wrap around my bare exposed behind, leap out and start running/waddling to find some shrub cover. Find a bush but lo and behold there’s a couple walking towards me and a man hoeing in his field less than 10 feet away. Awwwwesome. But I drop my pants anyway. The show of a lifetime for them, baby. Make it back to the bus mortified beyond belief but laughing hysterically. Manic laughter from Laura and I for the rest of the trip. Those Malawians must have thought we were mad.
Caught the last bus to Nkhata Bay for the day. So of course we had to sit and wait for another hour for that to fill. Laura entertained herself by making up a song to capture the excitement she felt when she realized the man next to us had a (live) chicken in a bag.
Oh. And 20 minutes into that drive from Mzuzu to Nkhata Bay (mind you, it’s an hour and a half ride – nice and short)….. they stopped so half the men on the bus could pile out to pee. WHAT THE HELL UNIVERSE?! Guys have to pee right after leaving the depot? No problem. But we had to practically light a freaking fire on the bus to get it to pull over for me after being on it for 4 hours. Ugh.
Finally made it to Nkhata Bay. Stopped by Hot Spot for a quick dinner and some chatting with Jacob before continuing onwards to the lodge. That hike up the hill to Mayoka (lodge) seemed a lot steeper than I remember. Made it around 10. Was pretty exhausted from a full day of teaching and traveling, so it was intended to be an early night. Haha. Laura crashed and I meant to follow but Benji and Special were both in a very chatty mood, the latter uncharacteristically so, so I figured I should take advantage of that time. Heard more about their lives in that one night than I had in a year of visiting the place before. It was lovely. Stayed up until 2 am just chatting with them and sipping on sodas.
It was a pretty tame trip as far as Nkhata Bay vacations go. The place is known for nightly drinking and daily sleeping off hangovers. But this time, there was no drinking and our days were filled with lots of swimming and chatting and reading and afternoon naps on benches. It was nice to catch up on rest and relaxation since life in Karonga has been more hectic than ever! Also got to enjoy some great food – taquitos and pizza at Mayoka but I think I was even more excited by the chicken that I ate multiple times at Hot Spot. We don’t get chicken ever – not since being here – because it’s expensive and it doesn’t taste like ‘western’ chicken anyway so it’s not really worth it. But Jacob’s chicken is fabulous and I loved it!
Other highlights from the trip:
- Saw Alex a few times although regrettably he was seemingly glued to his seat at a bar in town. He came up to Mayoka both nights to visit but he came so late we were already asleep. Sad that I didn’t get to chat with him more.
- Bought some things from the curios which was strange for me. I never buy anything more than bracelets. But one guy had candlestick holders that I’ve been wanting every since Matt got some last year. And I also bought a beautiful painting. Still waiting to move into my new place before I’ll hang it. I was thrilled that many of the curios remembered me from last year as the teacher from Karonga. Makes me happy that I’ve made a good enough impression plus it means they don’t harass me to buy something every time I walk past. Had a nice time sitting and catching up with them.
- I was demonstrating the dance that Banda taught me the other day in an effort to prove to Benji and Special that I am simultaneously a horrible dancer and trying to improve. They informed me that it is in fact a wedding dance that the bride and groom do. Haha. I imagine you could have fried an egg on my face in that moment.
- Met with Matthias who was formerly a bricklaying teacher at MIRACLE and now stays in Nkhata Bay and is a building supervisor. We met so we could talk about the possibility of my building a house (more on that in a later post) and I was hoping to hear his advice. He was fabulously helpful in that area, but it was also just nice to talk to him. I’d forgotten how cheeky and funny he is! Wish he were still in Karonga!
- Some idiot locked us into the dorm one night. That’s right. INTO the dorm. At like midnight. There were at least 5 of us in there sleeping and yet for some reason, one of our dorm mates decided it’d be smart to deadbolt the door from the outside. I discovered this when I got up to pee. After a short burst of hysterical laughter and astonishment from Laura and me, I called Benji to let us out, but a showering girl (and the likely culprit methinks) made it there first. OH And I forgot – the night before, someone locked me OUT. They bolted the door from the inside even though my bed was clearly empty. Do people seriously not understand the concept of a dorm?! You are not the only person staying there. If you want privacy, rent a freaking chalet. Especially in a place like Nkhata Bay where it’s totally fine to drift in at all hours. Sigh, seriously don’t understand how people can be so stupid sometimes.
So needless to say it was an interesting trip, full of laughter and bemusement. After our 4.5 hour ride home (it’s supposed to take between 3.5-4 hours only), we were fairly exhausted and irritable. This was not improved by a brief bike taxi fiasco where they tried to gouge us and charge 300 kwacha to the roadblock. I’m sorry, but no. I just took the same route a week ago and it was 100. But we had Banda with us then. Still, the most I’ve ever paid is 150, the jerks. So I walked away and finally one honest soul came up and told us we could go with him. Thoroughly enjoyable ride. He had a friend who rode alongside of us for a while who was thrilled to learned that I understood some of their conversation. So we were able to patch together enough broken English and broken Chitumbuka to have a nice little chat. Big smiles when we passed Banda who was cycling into town to meet us! So he turned around and biked us to the road block and then walked with us up to MIRACLE. Lovely to see him again. Laura and I both agreed that it was like a piece of our group was missing throughout the weekend. It was strange not to have our little three-some running around being scandalous :)
So all in all, an interesting Nkhata Bay trip. Definitely some fun moments but overall it was just kind of lonely and strange. Like I said, now that I don’t really want that crazy party atmosphere, I’d rather just go somewhere closer to Karonga where the beach is just as beautiful and the quietness just as relaxing.
But anyways, the trip started out with the regular craziness of the bus depot. Usually the Karonga depot is pretty tame. Not this time though. Maybe it’s because we went in the afternoon (I had to teach in the morning) so all of the conductors were frantically trying to scoop customers away from each other. I ended up surrounded with people yelling at me to come with them. I handled it far better than I ever would have last year and actually enjoyed being a smartass back to their lies and gimmicks. Works much better than getting frustrated or flustered. So I was contentedly trying to figure things out in a mass of 10 conductors but apparently it got too rough for Laura’s liking as I was suddenly transformed into a ping pong ball as they (gently) bumped me around a bit. Cue the yelling of the Mama lol so funny to watch Laura chastising them like they were children. It didn’t work, of course, but it was great to see. Ended up picking someone I knew since all of the buses were almost empty anyway. But that didn’t stop the other conductors from sticking their heads into the doors and windows to yell at us that we’d picked the wrong bus. They really were out of control. My attempt to explain to them that “I like this guy and I cannot stand the rest of ya’ll” fell on deaf ears. Laura eventually coined the phrase “Suck it!” as the most appropriate way to respond to their obnoxiousness – relieves our frustrations without them understanding its offensive nature.
Finally made it out of the bus depot after more than an hour of waiting for the bus to fill. And that’s when the true adventure began. Had a very urgent peeing emergency. I’m usually very good about this – heck, I’ve made it 25 hours on a public bus with only 1 bathroom break. I’ve got this. But not on this trip. Nope, with one hour left to Mzuzu, I suddenly knew I was going to pee my pants if that bus did not pull over. So I waited until Ekwendeni and then used my limited Chitumbuka to tell the conductor that I was sick and needed to find a pit latrine immediately. I was actually pretty proud that I could put together what I thought was a clear request. Well he ignored me. We pulled back onto the road and kept going. WTF man. Pull over for 3 minutes! Earlier in the trip, you spent 10 minutes sitting at a bus stop while the driver went off in search of cookies. Seriously people, DON’T pretend that an urgent sense of timeliness is a trait that 99.9% of Malawians possess. So I used more Chitumbuka to ask one of the other passengers where we were going. “Mzuzu.” To which I frantically say “chimbuzi yayi?!” which means “no pit latrine?!” Yeah, no, they apparently made the executive decision that I could just hold it. So not happening. At this point I’m sitting there saying out loud “I don’t know how to say ‘emergency.’ I should know that word.” And Laura catches that and just starts yelling at the bus driver “This is an emergency! An emergency! Pull over NOW!” over and over again. And with her crazy hair and eyes…. They decided it was worth it I guess lol. So they pulled over at some field (would it have been soooo hard to stop at a neighboring house where I could borrow a pit latrine – stupid boys). I rip Laura’s chitenje off of her so I’d have something to wrap around my bare exposed behind, leap out and start running/waddling to find some shrub cover. Find a bush but lo and behold there’s a couple walking towards me and a man hoeing in his field less than 10 feet away. Awwwwesome. But I drop my pants anyway. The show of a lifetime for them, baby. Make it back to the bus mortified beyond belief but laughing hysterically. Manic laughter from Laura and I for the rest of the trip. Those Malawians must have thought we were mad.
Caught the last bus to Nkhata Bay for the day. So of course we had to sit and wait for another hour for that to fill. Laura entertained herself by making up a song to capture the excitement she felt when she realized the man next to us had a (live) chicken in a bag.
Oh. And 20 minutes into that drive from Mzuzu to Nkhata Bay (mind you, it’s an hour and a half ride – nice and short)….. they stopped so half the men on the bus could pile out to pee. WHAT THE HELL UNIVERSE?! Guys have to pee right after leaving the depot? No problem. But we had to practically light a freaking fire on the bus to get it to pull over for me after being on it for 4 hours. Ugh.
Finally made it to Nkhata Bay. Stopped by Hot Spot for a quick dinner and some chatting with Jacob before continuing onwards to the lodge. That hike up the hill to Mayoka (lodge) seemed a lot steeper than I remember. Made it around 10. Was pretty exhausted from a full day of teaching and traveling, so it was intended to be an early night. Haha. Laura crashed and I meant to follow but Benji and Special were both in a very chatty mood, the latter uncharacteristically so, so I figured I should take advantage of that time. Heard more about their lives in that one night than I had in a year of visiting the place before. It was lovely. Stayed up until 2 am just chatting with them and sipping on sodas.
It was a pretty tame trip as far as Nkhata Bay vacations go. The place is known for nightly drinking and daily sleeping off hangovers. But this time, there was no drinking and our days were filled with lots of swimming and chatting and reading and afternoon naps on benches. It was nice to catch up on rest and relaxation since life in Karonga has been more hectic than ever! Also got to enjoy some great food – taquitos and pizza at Mayoka but I think I was even more excited by the chicken that I ate multiple times at Hot Spot. We don’t get chicken ever – not since being here – because it’s expensive and it doesn’t taste like ‘western’ chicken anyway so it’s not really worth it. But Jacob’s chicken is fabulous and I loved it!
Other highlights from the trip:
- Saw Alex a few times although regrettably he was seemingly glued to his seat at a bar in town. He came up to Mayoka both nights to visit but he came so late we were already asleep. Sad that I didn’t get to chat with him more.
- Bought some things from the curios which was strange for me. I never buy anything more than bracelets. But one guy had candlestick holders that I’ve been wanting every since Matt got some last year. And I also bought a beautiful painting. Still waiting to move into my new place before I’ll hang it. I was thrilled that many of the curios remembered me from last year as the teacher from Karonga. Makes me happy that I’ve made a good enough impression plus it means they don’t harass me to buy something every time I walk past. Had a nice time sitting and catching up with them.
- I was demonstrating the dance that Banda taught me the other day in an effort to prove to Benji and Special that I am simultaneously a horrible dancer and trying to improve. They informed me that it is in fact a wedding dance that the bride and groom do. Haha. I imagine you could have fried an egg on my face in that moment.
- Met with Matthias who was formerly a bricklaying teacher at MIRACLE and now stays in Nkhata Bay and is a building supervisor. We met so we could talk about the possibility of my building a house (more on that in a later post) and I was hoping to hear his advice. He was fabulously helpful in that area, but it was also just nice to talk to him. I’d forgotten how cheeky and funny he is! Wish he were still in Karonga!
- Some idiot locked us into the dorm one night. That’s right. INTO the dorm. At like midnight. There were at least 5 of us in there sleeping and yet for some reason, one of our dorm mates decided it’d be smart to deadbolt the door from the outside. I discovered this when I got up to pee. After a short burst of hysterical laughter and astonishment from Laura and me, I called Benji to let us out, but a showering girl (and the likely culprit methinks) made it there first. OH And I forgot – the night before, someone locked me OUT. They bolted the door from the inside even though my bed was clearly empty. Do people seriously not understand the concept of a dorm?! You are not the only person staying there. If you want privacy, rent a freaking chalet. Especially in a place like Nkhata Bay where it’s totally fine to drift in at all hours. Sigh, seriously don’t understand how people can be so stupid sometimes.
So needless to say it was an interesting trip, full of laughter and bemusement. After our 4.5 hour ride home (it’s supposed to take between 3.5-4 hours only), we were fairly exhausted and irritable. This was not improved by a brief bike taxi fiasco where they tried to gouge us and charge 300 kwacha to the roadblock. I’m sorry, but no. I just took the same route a week ago and it was 100. But we had Banda with us then. Still, the most I’ve ever paid is 150, the jerks. So I walked away and finally one honest soul came up and told us we could go with him. Thoroughly enjoyable ride. He had a friend who rode alongside of us for a while who was thrilled to learned that I understood some of their conversation. So we were able to patch together enough broken English and broken Chitumbuka to have a nice little chat. Big smiles when we passed Banda who was cycling into town to meet us! So he turned around and biked us to the road block and then walked with us up to MIRACLE. Lovely to see him again. Laura and I both agreed that it was like a piece of our group was missing throughout the weekend. It was strange not to have our little three-some running around being scandalous :)
So all in all, an interesting Nkhata Bay trip. Definitely some fun moments but overall it was just kind of lonely and strange. Like I said, now that I don’t really want that crazy party atmosphere, I’d rather just go somewhere closer to Karonga where the beach is just as beautiful and the quietness just as relaxing.
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